Missed Connection

I started a new job at the beginning of the month.  It’s a startup that’s really coming together.  So far I like it.  The work that I am doing is a little foreign to me but I’m hoping it will all come together with time.  Anyways, what’s really been on my mind is missing possible connections.  This aint no Craigslist missed connections post.  This is about my difficult time with connecting with people in general.  At my new job I’ve noticed I haven’t made too many friends and find myself holding back.  It’s driving me nuts and I keep overanalyzing every interaction I have!  I’ve been told in the past that I am hard shell to crack and I have many layers.  Tell me something I don’t know!  What I found interesting though, is that people are starting to read my unwillingness to connect.  It’s not that I don’t want to get to know people, but I like to keep everyone at a safe distance.  I hate to let anyone get a close look at me because I fear they will judge, reject, or worse… leave me.  It’s difficult and tiresome living life this way and I think part of it does have to do with lack of confidence on my end.  My wish for me is that I will be more open to meeting people and let a few people maybe a step or two closer to the real me.



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